Oh! Brother

Photo credit: Pinterest 

Life is sacrosanct. Life is irredeemable. Life is priceless.

Sounds cliché?

  Well, you'll only have a clearer understand regarding what the aforementioned descriptions of life mean when a dying being rests in your arms and all you can do is watch helplessly. You'll feel the transition from life to death. The final breath of the one you love and care so much about will melt your skin. That moment, you'll realize that life is short, unnegotiable, unpredictable and sometimes unfair. That's what happened to me. 

  It was exactly 12:15 at noon on December 23rd, 2017. The clouds that had been wispy and white that morning were now darker and more dense, I could only see patches of blue sky through the window of the hospital room. The window gave me a view of the world below just beneath the dangling ceiling fan. In the corner were two chairs frayed with tear and wear. An old television set hang on the wall opposite a refrigerator. I sat next Charles and stared dejectedly at the ceiling. Next to his hospital bed were heart monitors and oxygen tanks attached to him. I could feel the agony in every breath of his. His eyes were twitching, same were his toes. Slowly, his entire leg began to twitch too. He signalled that he wanted to speak to me. My heart skipped and uncontrollable tears rolled down my cheeks as I moved closer to him. I held him firmly and moved my ears close to his mouth longing to know what he wanted to say. He mumbled words into my ears, afterwards he started to turn cold. I could feel it, he was dying, he was dying in my arms. I tired to scream but I couldn't, I tried to whisper but my mouth became completely mute. That was all I could remember before it suddenly turned dark. 

 

 Astrid Alauda once said, "There's no love like the love for a brother. There's no other love like the love from a brother." Well, Charles wasn't my blood brother but to me, he was more than a brother; he was family and as the saying, "Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are and will do anything to see you smile," That was who he was to me. 

  

 

 As awkward as it may sound, we met online via a chat app during our first year at university. There was this crazy students group chat we had online which we used to relay info among ourselves. The group soon became a platform where students derived fun from dissing each other and saying things they naturally wouldn't say to each other in person. Guys who didn't have the nerve to talk to a girl in person would boldly insult or tease girls on the group. Others simply used the group to market themselves or anything of their interest. While some were active members of the group, others were passive; this was the category I belonged to. I only participated when I felt it was necessary. 

  Charles however was an active member of group. He made everyone  laugh with his silly posts. Cleverly dissing one person or a clique and posting intriguing stuffs that sometimes resulted in heated arguments. Everyone always looked forward to his next post. From his every post, you could decipher that he was a smart person. I recollect how he caused a stir on the group when he promised to send airtime to any one who would get the right answer to a question he asked. He dared anyone to give him one animal that can breathe through its butt. While many lashed out at him for such a dirty question, others insisted that the question was rather invalid, some others engaged in vague guesses. Incidentally, I had come across an article of such sometime back that there exist three of such animals that use their anuses for taking in oxygen which are the sea cucumber, the Fitzroy river turtle, and the dragonfly nymph. I then provided an answer to the question and as he had promised, he sent a direct message to me stating that he was impressed that I was able to answer the question. That was how we started talking. 

  We soon realized that we both lived just a stone throw from each other and we were course mates. I was anti-social, I enjoyed my privacy, however, Charles was the social type. He got along well people, girls mostly. He was not the shy type. While my parents weren't wealthy, we still had food on our table but Charles born into a wealthy home, he literally got anything he wanted. We got pretty close. Gradually, I started to loosen up. We started attending parties and going to clubs. I however knew where to draw the line, I never smoked though I got drunk occasionally. Academically, I was good while Charles was fair. Though I was academically sound and had distractions, I still managed to stay up late to study. Each time I persuaded him to join me in reading he usually said to me, "The smart don't need to read," I actually never understood what he meant by those words and surprisingly he always came out with good grades. 

  By our second year we had become very close. We stayed in the same hostel. People who didn't know us too well thought we were siblings. In fact we developed the same interests. I recall we both threw punches at each other over a girl we both seemed to like, we even placed a bet on who would win her heart. I played my game pretty well, trying to win her heart, Charles definitely had a game plan too. After some much persistence and guy secrets (oh, I mean secrets to winning the heart), I started to win her but it didn't last for long before it suddenly turn sore. She told me one day that she wanted to back out despite that she loved me. I couldn't understand why. Well, I saw it as one of those things that do happen since Charles also didn't win her. My relationship with Charles however grew stronger.

  Academically, I got better. I was on a first class! The news of my academic excellence spread like wild fire, I can't say for sure how it spread but I guess it's Charles' doing. He always bragged to his other friends about me. I became the cynosure of all eyes because I was the only one in our department who was on a first class. Lecturers always made reference to me as the 'brilliant one'. I also started to get undue attention from everyone, I was being treated like a king. My female friends also increased, they were just all over me. 

  I was 20 when I graduated and to the expectation of everyone, I came out with a first class. 

  I got the shock of my life when Charles told me he had to stay some extra years because he had to carry over some important courses, I never saw it coming because his performance had be fair enough though not as good as mine. This changed everything. We didn't see as often and invariably we couldn't talk to each as we used too.

 I had started my Master's degree when I learnt that Charles had travelled abroad to continue his studies. I didn't understand, continue his studies? How? Why? Questions of such kept flashing through my mind. I tried getting through to him via mobile phone by sending texts to him and even sending voice notes to him on social media but all was to no avail. I spent days brooding over why he left the country without informing me. I was worried. 

 I tried getting through to his relatives and all I got was an unsatisfying response that he was doing well and he only had to go complete his studies abroad. I was hurt. Terribly pained and in distress for months. I then decided to move on after failed attempts to get through to him.

  I got a job with a relatively good income. I started to make ends meet. It was at that point that I started to understand life better. Working gave me a sense of responsibility. It wasn't easy but I really am a hard worker. With hard work, I got an apartment. I became independent at 25. 

  Then one morning, when nature was at its best and the brilliant beams of the sun gave a splendid shading to the mists and knolls, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Gosh! It was a work free day for me and I had planned that I wasn't going to get out of bed till noon. I finally sat up and drowsily answered it after it rang a couple times. It was a lady whose voice I didn't seem to recognize. I could sense her sobbing from over the phone, this got sleep off my eyes almost instantly. I then asked who she was and why she was sobbing at that early hour of the morning. Then she replied saying, "I am Charles' sister."

  That was the moment I knew something was wrong. Charles' sister had never call me in ages. My temperature rose above normal, I started to fidget, I just didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready to hear it. Then she broke the silence, "Charles requests to see you," She said  giving me an address and hung up before I could ask further questions. Thank goodness! What a relief! I blamed myself for being so negative. I was really going to kill that guy, I would make sure he explained why he left without informing me, why he refused to pick up my calls or replied my messages. I was really going to punch his nose so hard. On the other hand, I thought, "Why then was she sobbing? And why does Charles suddenly request to see me after abandoning me for years? You'll get the answers in a while.

  I quickly got up from bed and started to prepare. I took a light meal and put on a navy-blue t-shirt on a pair of jeans, not forgetting my pair of sunglasses too. It was going to be a memorable day I thought joyously. 

  It took me about three hours to locate the place and to my surprise it was a hospital building. Then it all started again, fear gripped me as it did earlier when the call came in. What exactly was going on? Why would Charles request to see me in a hospital environment? I dialed the number that called me earlier that morning but the call didn't go through, then I decided to walk into the hospital premises. A security officer who worked in the hospital spotted me and asked who I was and who I wanted to see. After introducing myself, I told him I wanted to see an old friend, he then showed me the way in.

  The hospital corridor was stuffy and the air had an undertone of bleach. The walls were magnolia and were scraped in places from the hundreds of trolleys that have bumped into them. The pictures on the walls were cheap benign prints of uplifting scenes and above the double doors were large blue plastic signs with the areas of the hospital that lie ahead.

 I was led through a private ward by a nurse. On entering the private ward the atmosphere was completely different. The air had a perfumed scent and the seats were plush. Every surface was dustless. Other nurses were unhurried and they moved with a serene purposefulness from room to room on their rounds. There were vases of flowers and beautiful framed pieces of art on the walls. In the corridor was a water dispenser and in most rooms could be heard the noise of a television.

  I begged to be told where I was been taken to but I was told that we were there already. I was led into another private ward, this time I could see a single bed and a person lying almost lifeless on the bed. I asked, "Please, what's going on here?" The nurse simply said to me, "That's Charles Johnson sir, he is the one who requested to see you," Then she left. I honestly thought I didn't hear her properly. How can that be Charles?! I said softly, "That body seemed lifeless!" I moved closer and controllable tears rolled down my cheeks. I had a reminiscence over the times we spent together during varsity. I recalled those times we teased each other, those days we threw punches at each other, I recalled his silly dance moves during those times we went partying together, the way he laughed anytime he called me "scholar", those times we got into serious trouble with our lecturers, the memories of how he smiled and said to me, "The smart don't need to read."

  I was lost, completely dumbfounded, speechless and flabbergasted. Then I heard my name. It came out weakly. No one had ever pronounced my name with such agony, pain and sorrow. I felt a sharp pain through my chest, all I could say was, "Charles." I whimpered his name a couple of times then I sat close to him. I looked at my watch, it was some minutes past the hour of twelve. I observed the room and cursed intermittently. I could feel the agony in every breath of his. His eyes were twitching, same were his toes. Slowly, his entire leg began to twitch too. He signalled that he wanted to speak to me. My heart skipped and uncontrollable tears rolled down my cheeks as I moved closer to him. I held him firmly and moved my ears close to his mouth longing to know what he wanted to say. 

  Sorely, he said, "I'm very sorry. I know I've caused you pain and is still causing you pain but I only realized how much love you have for me when I went through the texts you've been sending me before I did my surgery. I made a complete fool of myself. I wish I could go back and listened to you." He then paused to catch his breath. I was unconsciously holding his hands. I could feel his bones crack. He was drying up. He then continued, "You told me to get serious with my studies but I never listened. I was soaked up in youthful exuberance. You know, I've always envied you. You are a prototype of what I wish am but I just refused to change for the better, not because I wasn't given a chance but I never took the chances I was given. Remember when we both threw punches at each other over Rachel and bet who will win her heart? You actually won her but I caused the break up. I told her lies about you. I just couldn't bare to see her with you. I preferred you shouldn't get what I couldn't and that is how I lived my miserable life thinking no one should have what I couldn't.

  Just look at look, you are so independent. I went to the US 'cos I was advised to withdraw from uni. Those fair grades of mine were all forged. I thought I was smart and since my parents were rich, I could buy my way through anything. I thought money was all. On getting to the US, I was to work for my uncle who owned a firm but I was never diligent, with every opportunity I got, I tried to frustrate him. Meanwhile, I deceived my parents who thought I was doing well. My parents spent a lot to ensure I was doing okay but I let them down." He paused again, this time taking a deep sign that almost saw his heart pump out. 

  He continued, "I wrecked my uncle's firm and afterwards joined a gang. We specialized in fraud and robbed at night. Nemeses caught up with me one night when we went to rob a bank. I got shot directly above my left eye by an officer during a chase. I really can't say how I survive but it's been hell since then. I was deported back to Nigeria and I had to undergo three surgeries. I also lost my left eye during one of the surgeries. 

  I thought that was all till I was diagnosed of a brain tumor as a result of complications from my surgeries. I had to undergo two more surgeries which didn't come at a cheap cost. My dad sold all he had to pay for my surgeries yet I've been diagnosed of two more at the right side of my brain. Right now, death is better. I've put the people who care so much about me through much pain. I just want it to end.

  "Life is short. I've lived mine, you better live yours. Cease every moment, do what you love. Live life right. If there's one thing I'll die knowing, it's that you'll not only learn from how I lived my life, you'll let others learn from me. I beg you, don't let anyone you love end up like me. Everyone has a purpose, the one we're individually created to fulfill and the one we design ourselves. Painfully, I chose the wrong purpose, I designed mine and here is the result. I chose to serve as a lesson to others. Let my designed purpose be fulfilled even when I'm gone. Thank you for loving me. Oh! Brother," Those were his last words before he started to turn cold. I could feel it, he was dying, he was dying in my arms. I tired to scream but I couldn't, I tried to whisper but my mouth became completely mute. That was all I could remember before it suddenly turned dark. 

  ©2018. Nzei Joseph C.